Just like with any relationship it requires work and commitment to be a friend. I have lost so many people in my life who I thought were my nearest and dearest over what seemed like nonsense. I admire those who have long time friends in their life who are truly friends. I would like to think I have those in my life currently but I realize, I am still possibly in the pruning stages.....
Oh let me count the ways I have pruned.....in no particular order of importance...
1. graduating high school (yes, graduation = end of friendship)
2. weren't really friends at all (took the same classes on campus, didn't know anyone else, it was convenient)
3. not a bridesmaid (lost a few because they didn't make the cut)
4. getting married (as if I was apart of another club they were not)
5. having children (another club I was not aware existed)
6. making new friends (old friends got jealous and bailed, WTF??!!!)
7. getting divorced (the married friends club membership expired)
8. getting remarried (my life changes were too much...as if it was their life #rollingeyes#getalife)
9. just stopped talking (no reason revealed, trying to figure out why it took way too much effort)
10. money (this is the latest reason and lesson learned)
In listing those reasons, I could not help but relive the experiences in my mind.
Friends should pass the oil and water test. If you have not tried it or heard, oil does not mix with water. If you pour oil in a glass of water, you will see bubbles of oil in the midst of the water. There is no blending whatsoever. So with saying that, if life changes come about and you see your friends start to bubble instead of blend.....time to question the depth and definition of what you thought was a friendship.
Friends should withstand any life change, test, trial, mix.....that comes along....because that's what real friends do. It takes compromise, communication, honesty, trust and non-judgment. A lot of give and not too worried about taking because if you both are giving to one another.....who cares?
So if you find yourself stirring the glass of your friendship vigorously trying to make it blend but it is not, take a closer look and you may see bubbles.
Pour it out and get a fresh glass. Then keep it clean of any "oil-based" drama.
Peace of Mind and Blessings,
Mel K
